Setting the scene

My husband Tony and I have been together for 8 years and we have been married for 7.

We are both practicing Buddhists and Tony has taken 5 months off work to spend some focused time studying and practicing the Dharma (Buddha’s teachings) in first group and then solitary retreat.

He will leave on Thursday, 14^th June to go to Belgium where he will spend about a month taking part in two group retreats. After that he will come home for a few days before heading off to Spain where he will spend 100 days in solitary retreat.

While he is in Belgium we can still talk to each other over the phone and I will see him for a day or two during his stopover at home in July. Once in Spain he will enter solitude with no contact whatsoever to the outside world. He’ll be back at the beginning of November.

Our spiritual path is a priority for both of us and we have spent time apart in the past going on different retreats. I believe that following a spiritual path is ultimately an individual and very personal endeavour even if – as in our case - both people are following the same path. I feel very lucky to be in a relationship where we are both happy to give each other enough space and freedom to spend time alone on our path.

However, 5 months is considerably longer than 1 month (the longest time we spent apart before) and also, not having any contact at all for 3 months is certainly a novelty.

I’m not worried, though. Rather, I’m curious to see how that feels and how I react in my thoughts, emotions and behavior. Obviously when you live with someone you somehow adjust to each other and your energies and rhythms align to dance together. I wonder how I will dance on my own.