Trust and security issues

I had to complete a personality test the other day and one conclusion of the test evaluation was that I “prefer to think the best of people, giving others the benefit of doubt”. The report suggests that having a trusting nature can have its downsides.

Can you be too trusting?

I remember a situation when I was about 16. I was standing at a bus stop on a busy road waiting to get the bus to see my friends a few miles away in another town. Suddenly two men stopped their car in front of me and asked me where I was going. They both had long hair and as I was into rock music at that time and most of my mates had long hair I saw them as members of my “tribe”. So I told them where I wanted to go and they offered me a lift.

Now someone less trusting than myself would have already hesitated when they noticed that instead of a backseat there was only a bed kind of area in the back of the car and the only way to get in or out was through the driver or passenger door.

I, however, didn’t think anything of it and happily hopped inside. They started driving and we chatted about rock music and the best places to go out in the area. After a while, one of the guys asked me if I wasn’t scared getting in the car with two strangers. After all, they could be up to anything.

That moment was the first time the thought of danger entered my mind and suddenly the chemistry of fear shot through my veins like lava. I tried to play cool and said that I’m not scared and can look after myself (or something stupid along those lines while clearly proving that I couldn’t as I had gotten myself into a situation that I couldn’t get out off easily because I had no access to a door).

Anyway, they kept driving towards where I wanted to go and although they were driving a bit silly (e.g. racing towards a house and stopping just before hitting the wall), they dropped me off exactly where I wanted to go. They wished me well and to have fun with my friends but they also reminded me to be more careful next time and not to assume everyone was as nice as they were.

I will never find out if they had bad intentions and changed them during our journey or if they genuinely just wanted to give me a lift.

That moment of fear and the realisation that things could have gone terribly wrong certainly stuck with me for a while and I wouldn’t have done the same again. I also never told my parents.

I tend to think that trusting people is a good thing and I trust in my own ability to judge people’s character. I’d also hate to live in fear and distrust. It must be a horrible way to be and I think it attracts bad things. Actually, research suggests that fearful people with a victim kind of energy are more likely to be attacked than others.

But last night, when the thought of locking the front door - now that I’m on my own in the house - entered my mind for the third time this week, I remembered the report’s suggestion and got out of bed to lock the bloody thing.

This morning I get a phone call from my bank’s fraud protection department telling me that someone tried to take money with my card in Bangkok - probably due to the fact that I never cover the keyboard when entering my pin at an ATM.

Should I be more careful or keep trusting?

After all, nothing bad ever happened. Something bad could have happened – but it hasn’t!

Maybe I’ll find the answer to that question tonight before going to bed when I have to decide again whether or not to lock that front door. The problem is though: once you started giving in to fear, it’s hard to go back.