Fix you

I have been contemplating the whole ‘connecting with my needs’ thing for two weeks now and the one thing that’s been really bugging me is the (for me) logical question of “what next?”.

So I am in touch with my feelings and the underlying need but what do I do with it then?

To me the logical next step was all about how to then get that need met and I’ve been analysing whether or not I’m entitled to expect someone else to meet my needs or whether and if so, how much, I’m responsible to meet my own needs.

I haven’t quite found an answer to that particular question but I now moved on to a different question: do all of our needs need to be met?

I remember the trainer who did the non-violent communication training saying something about it sometimes being enough to just acknowledge a need and the fact that it is unmet.

Well, that didn’t really appeal to me. Patience isn’t one of my strengths and I tend to go after what I want with quite some determination.

And yet, during a conversation I had tonight with some Dharma friends via Skype about dealing with negative emotions etc. it really struck a chord with me when someone said that it all comes down to being alert, mindful and aware.

I’m not saying “don’t go after your dreams” or “don’t try and get your needs met” – I wouldn’t do that, trust me – but maybe (just maybe) sometimes loving yourself means simply noticing and acknowledging what’s there and showing yourself some empathy and compassion.

Maybe it isn’t always about fixing things.